Even as a teenager, I always kept my ways pure when it came to dating/ seeing a boy, because to me it was wrong. I was too young to know why it was wrong, but I knew one thing, that God’s Way will be the best way rather than mine. Hence throughout my teenage and my early twenties, I, by the grace of God, kept myself from falling for any wrong person, and ultimately met the man that God had chosen for me, in a way that was wonderful and full of surprise
But not soon after my marriage, it so happened that a sister, whom I knew happened to get married to a guy, whom later I discovered, was a long-standing boyfriend of hers! They had a happy wedding, a life after wedding was no less than bliss (and I hold no grudges against that) but her love story, just shattered my faith in God’s justice.
I had the longest spiritual debate with God on why He had deprived me of having the freedom of choosing my guy, when He is completely fine with the idea of blessing marriages between people who do take such liberty. This was just not fair to me!(Sounds like Prodigal Son’s elder brother to you?)
But the below answer that I found in a lovely blog, Ask Beloved, made my heart overwhelm with contentment and conciliation ever since.
Hope you guys are blessed just like I was.
Here goes the question
Hello beloved. Thanks for all the godly and insightful post regarding relationships. I’m a born again Christian by the grace of God and would like to know your thoughts on dating. I personally want to meet the right man God has created for me and I know that is only possible through patiently waiting and trusting on His promises. However, I get confused on certain areas like dating. If I decide to date a guy who is a friend because I feel he might be a “potential”, does that seem like I’m trying to act ahead of God? At the same time, I then ask myself that if I don’t date, how do I get to know a guy. The ideal way I understand relationships that lead to marriages is: date->courting->then marriage. Please let me know your answers to this. God bless.
You’re welcome dear and greater thanks to God for the divine wisdom and inspiration he brings to light through me. I don’t support dating because it shows an individual picking a lady or gent all by himself/herself and this is not god’s way. I love the way you put it – ‘…seems like I’m trying to act ahead of God?’ Yes, you are.
The truth about wanting to date first is that we want to
Chose whoever appeals to our physical senses and then, asks God to give his consent – God can never sit at the back seat! He’s the driver and we are his passengers. It was He alone, not Adam that said in gen 2:18 that “it is not good for a man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”
As a born-again believer in Christ Jesus, when the time comes for marriage, God will reveal your husband-to-be to you or to the guy first. Before I became engaged, God brought strongly to my heart who he has chosen to be my head, I prayerfully asked Him to do the same to the brother because it is a man that proposes and not the other way round. He did that and within a short while the brother called me and that’s how our relationship started.
I’ll refer you to two good books written by Joshua Harris on this issue. He called the first one ‘I kissed dating goodbye’ – in its intro, he said it’s time we gave up dating and discover that God has something even better – a life of sincere love, true purity, and purposeful singleness. And the second one he called ‘boy meets girl, say hello to courtship’ – at the back, he said that as old fashioned as it might sound, courtship is what modern-day relationships desperately need. Think of it as romance chaperoned by wisdom, cared for by the church community, and directed by God’s word.
My advice to you will be to leave the ideal way and follow God’s way. When the time is right, God will surprise you with the way He’ll connect you to your husband, if you’ll leave the driver’s seat for Him and take the passenger seat. Never forget that ‘the blessings of God adds no sorrow..