So here I am. Back. Not with a poem of praise, point or pain., But back because I just have been thinking too much that is coming my way…accidental or incidental., in practical life or spiritual life. And, with each passing year, as I grow like anybody else, I become more mature, more thoughtful and more experienced.
Yes. Experienced…All of us have experiences. Good and bad. But if we notice that bad things leave more of an impact in our behaviour, thoughts, language and …everything that makes us.
So, is with me. Negative people, discrimination, rejection, failures, regret, …and the list can go on. I grow with these things. And I grow to protect myself. But in the same breath, in order to protect myself, I am also separating myself from people who reject/ discriminate and fail me. My heart grows with anger and bitterness towards everybody around me, just because I want to be away and free from pain/ rejection and failures. I am angry at people who discriminate me. I am bitter towards people who get what I feel I should have got. I am angry at people and the certain section of people who treat me the way which is so discriminating, so insulting, so hurtful…
I don’t smile, I don’t want to smile at people. I don’t want to talk to anybody, any stranger.
They say I am rude. Let them say so.. I don’t care. I am hurt, hence I am right in behaving rude.
Everybody hurts me., and that’s why I don’t want to be friends with anybody..
And so bitterness and anger make a deeper root in me.
But, today as I was reading a Christian devotional book, I realized that no anger is worth anything. Bitterness is a state of heart, which at its peak gives birth to revenge and judging our brothers/sisters (I mean people, here). And both revenge and judgment belong only to God. So if I am judging and nursing revenge in my heart, I am trying to take the place of God!
I don’t know if I am writing well to make well my point.,but I am still going to write.
Christianity is all about forgiveness and loving our neighbors. Yet, I fail. And I am not the only one. But if go on and on with this bitterness and anger in my heart, I certainly am not obeying God. If I don’t obey God, it means I don’t love God. If I don’t love God, then I am certainly not His. That means I belong to someone else! That someone will take me (after my life here on earth) to his home full of fire, sulphur, worms and there he would torment me forever! So here I am thinking again…Is the bitterness and anger and hatred worth it? Not at all.
As God said , “ in your anger, do not sin”
When I am angry, I am led to sin. Sin of bitterness and hatred., revenge and slander.
A Christian can’t afford to be angry for ever. As I said earlier, its simply not worth it. As God said in Ephesians 4:26 (Amplified Bible) “When angry, do not sin; do not ever let your wrath (your exasperation, your fury or indignation) last until the sun goes down”.
Yes, His commandment is that we can not afford to stay angry all day. We ought to let go off our anger even before the sun sets!! Before sun set, we have to flush all the anger away! Leave alone a day, a month, a year and even a lifetime…Otherwise, the enemy gets a foot hold…
Well, I am resting my writing here.
Wish all readers good and godly anger management.